Wednesday Whittling: The Wolverine Figure We Need

Everyone has an iconic toy that comes to mind as one of
their favorites. Mine is the 1992 Toy Biz, 2nd edition, 3.75 inch
Wolverine. It came equipped with spring-out slashing claws and, for some
reason, a gun. I got it as a birthday present when I was about 5, I think, and
it’s one of my earliest memories.

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I loved the thing. I don’t know what happened with my
original one…it may well be stuck in a bin in the depths of a storage space I
might never get into. A while ago, I started looking for another one online…whether
it was the Toy Biz version or a new Wolvie all together.

I was gifted the glorious 1992 version by my girlfriend a
couple months into my search and I display it as one of my most revered
possessions. It’s one of the reasons I love her dearly.

But when I searched, I had no luck. And it wasn’t just that
– it’s that there was no luck to be had.

The Wolverine action figures that have come out since ’92 have
been almost exclusively garbage…until now. He was announced as part of the most
recent Marvel Legends lineup and, dang, is it a home run. But it’s been
impossible to find in stores and online, even from Hasbro directly. And so I’ve
decided to revisit some of the sigh-inducing versions from over the years.

Like this one, for example. 

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What in the flying hell? His boots have wings. Or bunny
ears. His face looks like a sunken clay plot. It’s like when someone captures
that awkward moment before a smile in a picture.

Then there’s this beauty.

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It’s the “stealth version,” whatever that means. He’s got
that cool Fonzie pose going on and is clearly ready to ‘eeyyyyy the crap out of
someone. And if you focus on the head, he’s doing this weird forward lurch.
Wolverine’s head is like this on so
many figures and it makes him look like he slept on a bad futon.

And, finally, there’s this one. 

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He looks like he pushed too hard at the gym and is either
afraid to move or can’t. And you might say, hey, you can pose him differently.
But will it really help? He still looks out of breath and, oh yeah, he isn’t wearing his mask. It’s like
Batman without his cape or Chewie without his bandolier. Weird.

These three examples are the tip of the iceberg. I’m still
trying to track down the new Marvel Legends version. It’s the figure we need
but I’ve only seen one in the wild and it was at my local comic shop, marked up
to $40 (that’s a bad look, Comic Fortress). If you see it, hit a brother up. 

Until next Wednesday!

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#marvel #comics #writing #toys #ncbd

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